Chapter 6

I found the section that described how Benjamin Bloom attempted to figure out an agreed upon way to research how we measure social ability fascinating.  On page 147 Dweck talks about how we, as a society, don't really understand relationship skills even though, "everything is at stake in people's relationships."  She also mentions that a combination of social-emotional skills (Emotional Intelligence) and mindset can help us understand why some people have long lived and satisfying relationships while others do not.  Dweck goes on to discuss how the fixed mindset makes people want instant compatibility and think that everything comes naturally in relationships.  This is interesting to me because growing up you always hear about the "love at first sight" couple or "the perfect couple" that never disagrees or just knows what their partner is thinking.  They seem to have an effortless relationship.  This myth is debunked by Dweck when she points out that, "a no-effort relationship is a doomed relationship." 
How many people have felt that if someone didn't understand what they wanted or needed at a particular time it meant they didn't care about the relationship?  I know that when I was younger I did have more of a fixed mindset when it came to love.  As I matured I began to see that communication is key and that blaming someone else for the relationship failing never works out.  I love that relationship expert, Daniel Wile, says that choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems.  This should hit home with anyone who is married for the long haul.  I have a real problem with the way society has become reliant on divorce as a quick fix rather than seeing that problems can be solved through hard work.  If we learn to help each other work towards obtaining our own goals and what we want to do we both grow and are fulfilled. 

Chapter 6

I found this chapter particularly interesting.  The focus on relationships is something that everyone can relate to, and the section on bullying at the end is certainly a topic that educators look to understand.

Early on the information presented for each type of mindset included:

Growth Mindset = a person who values communication, is committed, focuses on having to work constantly on the relationship, understanding, giving …
Fixed Mindset = people who feel judged or labeled by rejection, wants revenge or to blame, want to feel better about self …
I was not surprised by the information because I continue to feel like the book takes positive traits/characteristics and labels that as growth mindset, and it takes negative traits/characteristics and labels that as fixed mindset.  I am beginning to believe that everyone has a little bit of each within their personality.  For example, a person may have a growth mindset when they interact with family and friends and a fixed mindset when they interact with coworkers.  Do you believe that the mindset can change based on the topic/situation/experience? 

As for the part on bullying, I found this quote to be alarming, “But it’s startling how quickly average, everyday kids with fixed mindsets think about violent revenge” (Dweck 167).  I also struggled with this quote, “To make matters worse, schools often do nothing about it. This is because it’s often done out of sight of teachers or because it’s done by the school’s favorite students, such as the jock” (Dweck 165).  I do not want to say too much about this but look forward to a discussion on this particular portion of chapter 6.